Listen vs Hear , React vs Respond

How well do your discussions go ? Do they very often end up in a disagreement or in refined terms "agree to disagree" mode ?

Listening is a skill. We usually don't listen, we hear. And that makes a lot of difference.

Next time when you are discussing something with a friend of yours, observe it.

Are you reacting or are you responding ?

Reacting: You just hear what the other has to say, don't think about it from his perspective. All you want is to prove that your point is correct. Not just that, your point is the Only Correct one.

It is not out of intention to hurt the other, it is just in a rush of the situation that this happens, influenced by the group/situation.

Responding: You feel the responsibility towards other. You feel that you are related to the other. If there is something that you do not know, you learn, if you have something to tell, you convey it with utmost responsibility. One does not need any so called special communication skills/spoken English techniques, your sense of responsibility reflects in each and every word you speak and the other can perceive it. And hence, the discussions usually lead to mutual learning/happiness/satisfaction to both the persons involved. Here we listen, not just hear.