My friend, I didn't mean that !

...The world of opposites

Recently in many of my interactions, I am experiencing how language can be a big barrier in communicating what one wants to and how the understanding of something changes drastically depending on the existing mental categories. Let me try to give those real incidents.

Proposal: This institute is not for those who are looking for just a job at the end of the course. ( Assumed understanding: This is a place of learning and one would like to see students excel in computer science and grow into responsible individuals. Job is a natural consequence, but it should not be the ONLY target).

Conclusion Drawn: If you are interested in making a living after college, this is not the place for you.

When the students were suggested that they should sleep early, and not trouble themselves much, It was surprising to see that the student(s) actually concluded that sleeping late is not allowed in their campus! And they seem to feel the pressure of losing their freedom of sleeping late!

In another instance, some students ate the food of a canteen which is supposed to serve healthy food on campus. They did not like the food. It was not tasty. And everyone says that the food there is healthy food. And in a short period, guess what the conclusion was. “Healthy food can never be tasty”! I was surprised to see this conclusion.

Yet another surprise was when the discussion of “how much do we need?” was going on. I proposed that what all we need as of today in terms of food, clothing, shelter, the instruments (accessories) for making a non-compromising living can be listed down. And that usually this need remains like that with minor variations. The conclusion drawn implicitly was that one should not live a comfortable life, we need to cut down our requirements and that we can do with little money! :-) All this without even actually doing the exercise of listing down the things that one is looking for!! While the exercise actually was aimed at illustrating that the “things that we need” which we felt to be an infinite list is not really so long, its just that we have not attempted to collate all of them!

Pawan ji says “In languages we tend to make (false) categories and these are given to us as realities from early childhood. We get used to a binary world of opposites – day/night, sunrise/sunset, man/woman, girl/boy etc.etc. Though these are all different from each other we start taking them as opposites. The notion of opposites reduces the space for understanding things properly”

Proposal: You are encouraged to eat food within campus. (And we are striving to improve the food on campus)
Conclusion: Students are not allowed to eat outside campus.

May be in some other instances even I was making such conclusions! One way I think of avoiding or at least minimizing such interpretations, especially when the audience is new and skeptical about anything we speak is to speak out the assumptions too. Speaker need to probably take more care in communicating what was really meant. For example, the case of telling that the institute is more interested in you learning the courses and excelling in the field and it is not about just finishing the courses could be explained in more detail.

Apart from the way we are brought up in the world of opposites, one thing that pushes us towards concluding the opposites is the lack of Trust. When we are sure that the other is trying to tell something which he wants to be of good to me, we cannot easily concluded the opposites. It is the sense of feeling exploited or the feeling of being dominated that might trigger these negatives easily.And these conclusions only aggravate the situation.Not good for anyone. So lets be more careful in communication.

Tatas Vs Turtles

Children Learn What They Live.......

If children live with criticism they learn to condemn...

If children live with hostility they learn to fight...

If children live with ridicule they learn to be shy...

If children live with shame they learn to feel guilty...

If children live with tolerance they learn to be patient...

If children live with encouragement they learn to be confident...

If children live with praise they learn to appreciate...

If children live with fairness they learn to be just...

If children live with security they learn to have faith...

If children live with approval they learn to like themselves...

If children live with acceptance they learn to love the world...

courtesy http://www.chordindia.org/ (Child Welfare and Holistic Organisation For Rural Development)

Transforming rural India

The National Rural Employment Guarantee Programme not only provides a stable economic base to households but is also directing capital investment to rural areas and creating valuable assets that are changing the rural landscape. Following are some of the highlights::

* The guarantee of 100 days of wage employment
* The programme has enabled children to go to school, improved nutrition within the family, increased wages, reduced indebtedness and migration and significantly, even empowered the poor.
* Asset Creation::
- Lands transformed into productive farming units
- water tables have risen in “backward” districts
- drinking water wells save time and effort of women
- water-harvesting structures, minor irrigation tanks, community wells, land development, flood control, plantations and so on.
- Contrary to construction of roads which are washed away with each monsoon.
* This is also of special relevance today with greater concern for water, global warming and climate change.
* If sustained over the years, will have a visible impact on the landscape of rural India.
* The poor possess more than 15 million hectares of land — government assigned, ceiling surplus and bhoodan, as recorded tenants, lands restored to tribal communities. At present, these lands are often left fallow or produce one crop with a low yield. Such lands invariably have no source of irrigation, are away from the village and are undeveloped. But they share an important feature — they are invariably in compact blocks and are therefore suitable for integrated development packages. These holdings could therefore be transformed into productive farming units, often with irrigation from wells, tanks, other water harvesting structures, lift irrigation schemes.
* This can be extended to watershed development, drinking water, agriculture, horticulture, farming systems, fisheries, handlooms, handicrafts — each can synergise with the employment guarantee, enhance production from rural areas ...

There has been an aggressive urgency in attracting overseas capital to India; can a similar concern also be shown for a programme of capital investment that we ourselves have initiated, and one which has great potential and meaning for the nation’s development?

Complete Article @ http://www.hindu.com/mag/2008/05/04/stories/2008050450010100.htm

A retired civil servant, the author is a former Director General of the National Institute of Rural Development, Hyderabad, Ministry of Rural Development, Govt of India.Email: lalitmathur45@yahoo.com

My friend's experience ..

Folks,

Word of advice from the now experienced: whenever you get married, consider getting the marriage registered, a part of the rituals and get it done on the same day you tie the knot!!! All you need is:
- invitation cards from both - bride and groom's side
- age proof for both
- residence proof for both (i.e. before marriage)
- marriage photos
- 3 witnesses
AND
- loads of patience

The whole process should ideally takes about 5 -10 mins max!!!

Figure out before hand, at which registrar office you need to get the marriage registerd! This will typically be the same office where your house is registered! And if possible, go and invite that particular office's sub-registrar to the marriage! It'll help!

Evarikaina eppudaina ... (If at some point of time.. someone...)

One of my friend has been to this place and she says .. its actually very impressive ...

5th ...

June 14th 2006 (Moto-camp)
October 31st 2006 (ZPHS - Banswada camp)
April 4th 2007 (Moto-camp)
August 28th 2007 (NIMS)
March 8th 2008 (Usha Mullapudi Cardiac Center)

my 5th blood donation .. this time also it was for a friend's father's surgery .. hoping that he recovers soon ...

cheers
Suman.

Not Mine !!!

Recently I have been interacting with some organizations and I am surprised at the kind of attitude I have seen !!! ....

I used to see this in movies, the government employees lacking a sense of responsibility and the general public facing issues with such behavior. I always thought i was an exaggeration of the reality because my father who is also a government employee has been amazingly responsible, in fact he even works late hours and rushes to work even on sundays (the only day off) to get things done and for the public not to suffer... and apart from him I have known some of his colleagues too who are very sincere. So i was under the impression that there is a minority of this workforce which is creating this impression !!...

To my surprise I am not sure if it is a coincidence, all my interactions with many organizations have been pathetic !.. it started off when I was traveling , the immigration check ... he wanted some money for me to move ahead !! .... then the corporation bank (unfortunately our company's account) credit card application ... it has been 5 months and they have no idea about where the card is ... it took me not less than 40-50 follow ups to ask them to cancel it(not yet done!) !! ....
Then the SBI .. I had to transfer some money to my brother ... the head office says the online banking is working in cyber towers branch .. and the cyber towers branch says it is not .. and they are not sure in which branches it is working and which it is not !! ...
BSNL .. one of my colleagues had applied for a connection and there is only one mantra that he has got to hear .. "this week" ...
The phone store in our office, the person says "No stock" , but when I escalate the issue, the stock is there !!

Everyone is doing their so called "duties" .. it is not the SBI person's duty to inquire where it is working and tell me .. and it is not the BSNL officer's duty to dig the line !! :-) ...

What is lacking is a "sense of ownership" !!! ....
We keep shouting and cribbing that computerization of everything is reducing the employment opportunities !!! ... but what is the reason that we are moving towards computerization !! ?? :-) ... our very own attitude towards work.

No human being likes uncertainty .. when I step in to an office I am not at all confident that I am going to get what I am looking for ... I am not sure if they are telling the truth ... which makes me very uncomfortable ... so i look forward for something very definite ... I prefer automation ...

This is a clear scenario of hitting our own legs .. :-) ..
Enjoi madi ... we are all set .. and moving in the right direction to get automated :D ... and lose lots and lots of jobs ...
Everyone can sit happily in your homes and enjoi ... :D

~A very irritated soul

kannepillavani kannulunnavani

kanepillavani kannulunnavani ennenni vagalu potunnave chinnarii
chinna navvu navvi vannelanni ruvvu ennenni kalalu rappinchave ponnarii

sangeetham nuvvaitee
saahityam nenavutaa

swaramu neevai
swaramuna padamu nenai
gaanam geetham kadaa

kavini nenai
nalo kavita nevai
kavyamainadi .... talupo paluko manasoo

http://www.raaga.com/channels/telugu/movie/A0000002.html

awesome song ..

The ambiguity ...

Here I am ..
staring into infinity ..
tracing the roots ..
of the ambiguity ..

it is the one ..
that drives me crazy..
makes me sleepless..
screws up my responses..
in fact everything I do..
me being its host..

the sun has set..
yet I reach nowhere..
tired I am ..
figuring out what it is..
its identity..
its whereabouts..
its solution..
and I fall asleep ..

I wake up..
and .. Its life again..!


~Suman.

Fulfilling 4th time ...

June 14th 2006
October 31st 2006
April 4th 2007
August 28th 2007

These dates are memorable for me ... I gave my blood on these four dates .... First time it was at a camp organised by me at Motorola 100 employees donated .. then it was in october when my uncle was retiring , he organised a blood donation camp .. then on April 4th was my second camp at Motorola .. this time 150 employees .. I worked hard promoting the cause and it showed in the numbers .. the 4th time was different .. it was just before a bypass surgery to one of my friend's father ... today morning the surgery took place and the condition is declared stable .. I am very happy for him ..

If the awareness about it increases, the need of blood for Thalessemia patients .. for the ones who need during surgeries can be met with ease ..

Lets share something that can be replenished.

Good for us ....

Yes, I am also one of those who is not feeling bad at all about the loss of our team @ World Cup ...

And for me its not about more work hours ... nor money retained .... but about attitude ... attitude of people.. the sportiveness in people ...

Now they get a chance to think about what sport is all about ... the same people who have garlanded the team are burning their effigies ... !!!

And I would say its not the problem with the Team .. they have performed what they can .... but its the people who have assumed high things for a team not soo competent .. and created problems for themselves ....

Can you imagine our crowd appreciating the opponent team for a boundary or six ?? !!! or at least for a century !!... not possible ... but if you see the crowd at England .. I have seen them appreciate the century of Indian team also !! .. and felt good about it .... that's sportsmanship ... lets appreciate Bangladesh for their good play .. and empathize with Indian team for not being able to perform ...

Appendix:

Sportsmanship is an attitude that strives for fair play, courtesy toward teammates and opponents, ethical behavior and integrity, and grace in losing.

Empathy is defined as one's ability to recognize, and feel the emotion of another.

Listen vs Hear , React vs Respond

How well do your discussions go ? Do they very often end up in a disagreement or in refined terms "agree to disagree" mode ?

Listening is a skill. We usually don't listen, we hear. And that makes a lot of difference.

Next time when you are discussing something with a friend of yours, observe it.

Are you reacting or are you responding ?

Reacting: You just hear what the other has to say, don't think about it from his perspective. All you want is to prove that your point is correct. Not just that, your point is the Only Correct one.

It is not out of intention to hurt the other, it is just in a rush of the situation that this happens, influenced by the group/situation.

Responding: You feel the responsibility towards other. You feel that you are related to the other. If there is something that you do not know, you learn, if you have something to tell, you convey it with utmost responsibility. One does not need any so called special communication skills/spoken English techniques, your sense of responsibility reflects in each and every word you speak and the other can perceive it. And hence, the discussions usually lead to mutual learning/happiness/satisfaction to both the persons involved. Here we listen, not just hear.

Jeena kya hai? (From lage raho munna bhai)

"Shaher ki es daud me daud ke karna kya hai?
Jab yehi jeena hai dosto to phir marna kya hai?

Pahli barish me train late hone ki fikr hai
Bhul gaye bhigte hue tahelna kya hai?

Serails ke kirdaaro ka saara haal hai malum
par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai?

Ab ret pe nange pao tahelte kyu nahi?
108 hai chanel phir dil bahelte kyu nahi?

Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hai,
lekin pados me kon raheta hai jaante tak nahi.

Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dost tak pahuche aise taar kaha hai?

Kab dubte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai?
Kab jaana tha shaam ka woh banana kya hai?

To Dosto Shaher ki es daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yahi jeena hai to phir Marna kya hai?"

Day 3 (I made this poster :D) .. the idea to use abhishek was bharath's .. thanks bharath :)

Day 2

Day 1

Is there no end to this :-( ?!

Lashkar-e-Toiba:

In a pamphlet entitled Why Are We Waging Jihad, the group defines its agenda as the restoration of Islamic rule over all parts of India.

Naxalites :

Advocate that Indian peasants and lower classes must overthrow the government and upper classes whom they held responsible for their plight.

Terrorism in India

There are 28 pages in this section of this category.

1 11 July 2006 Mumbai train bombings 1993 Mumbai bombings 1998 Coimbatore bombings 2 2006 Varanasi bombings A Air India Flight 182 Akshardham Temple attack B 2005 Indian Institute of Science shooting H Harkat-ul-Mujahideen Hizbul Mujahideen

I Indian Airlines Flight 814 J Jaish-e-Mohammed 2005 Jaunpur train bombing Jaunpur train crash K Kurnool train crash L Lashkar-e-Omar Lashkar-e-Toiba List of hijacking of Indian aeroplanes N 29 October 2005 Delhi bombings O Operation Ashwamedh

P Prevention of Terrorist Activities Act R Rafiganj train disaster 2005 Ram Janmabhoomi attack in Ayodhya Ranvir Sena T Terrorism in India Terrorism in Kashmir Terrorist attack on American cultural centre in Kolkata (2002) Terrorist attack on Indian Parliament (2001) W Wandhama massacre

Tamil nationalism

Tamil nationalism is a strong aspiration by some Tamils to establish traditional Tamil home lands in India and Sri Lanka as separate nations.

Insurgent groups in Northeast India

Some groups call for a separate state, others for autonomy while some extreme groups demand nothing but complete independence. Many groups are alleged to be surreptitiously funded by Pakistan's state intelligence organization — the Inter-Services Intelligence and the Chinese. The chief sources of income for these groups include the narcotics trade originating from Myanmar and extortion.

Khalistan

Khālistān (Punjabi: ਖਾਲਿਸਤਾਨ) (lit. "The Land of the Pure") was the name given to the proposed nation-state, encompassing the present Indian state of Punjab and all Punjabi-speaking areas contiguous to its borders, the creation of which has been violently agitated for by separatist organisations.

Vishva Hindu Parishad

The Vishva Hindu Parishad (Sanskrit for "World Hindu Council"), widely recognized by its initials 'VHP', is a Hindu organization in India, an offshoot of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. It was founded in 1964. Its slogan is "Dharmo rakshiti rakshitah", or "By defending what is righteous, you will be protected." Its symbol is a banyan tree.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

What is Right ?!

When we need to take a decision, most of the times we take it based on what we "feel" is Right. How do we verify if this decision is The Right decision ?

It is not very difficult to see whats Right and whats Wrong. Anything which is Right would be UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED ! It might not be Understood initially. At the face of it, if might look like deniying someone. But whatever is Right would be understood and accepted over a period of time. The decision would be true across time, location and person. It should not deny any person at any place at any point of time. That any person includes ourselves too. It should not make me unhappy. There is more to it that it should not effect/disturb anything in existence. (Includes Nature, Society, family and you). Such decisions are Right decisions.

To make sure that one takes Right decision, one needs to have a proper understanding of the functioning of everything. Like what does Nature expect from us. What does society expect from us. What does family expect from us and what do you want for urself!! . It is only then that you can make sure you are not messing up with any of them.

The moment we start looking at ourselves, seeing what is going on because of our decisions. Are they Right i.e. are they accepted by everyone. Am I happy taking such a decision. Once we start contemplating on such issues, we start correcting our decisions. To correct our decisions, we seek more knowledge, correct knowledge and hence our KB gets purified. Outcome : Decisons would be Right.

Note: Decision here does not only mean a major step/advancement (like chosing a career) . It can be as small as uttering a word(what word .. we are responsible for the consequences of our words), taking a step(walk), deciding what to eat and wear ....

Disclaimer : This is just a proposal. I am not advocating it !

The grouping phenomenon

Hello all ... wanted to tell a few words .. applicable all thourgh our lives ..

Every human being in this world wants to be happy. He wants to live a meaningful life.

To be happy an individual needs

1) Trust : One can be happy only when he is confident that the people around him wants him to be happy ...

2) Respect .. for what he is ..

3) Affection .. that friendliness .. the comfort ..

4) Care ..

5) Guidance to do good things

6) Appreciation for being good .. and doing good things ..

7) Gratitute .. thanking him when he helps you ...

8) Love ..

It is natural that one tries to find a company of friend(s) which provides him with the above things he expects ...

Actually noone wants to deliberately make someone unhappy .. the situations turn out to be so ... ( situations are the tests .. which test the strenght of the bonds)

So when someone notices that as time passes by ..due to unavoidable circumstances .. a company of friend(s) which used to provide the above things is no longer in a situation to do so.. he/she has two options ...

1) Look for another such company of human being(s)

2) Try to make the friend(s) realise that what they are doing is a mistake .. which can be costly .. and that it is not the right way ...

If he has time and resources and the oppurtunity .. he can pursue the second options ... but in most cases they leave it for them to realise it for themselves that .. what they have done is a mistake .. and go ahead and live his life ... this time making sure such situations do not arise ...

and this is a contunuous process .. all throught the life ...

You can observe that .. when we meet a big set of people ... initially this shifting happens very rapidly (1st sem) (they find the company that suits u) .. (option 1) .. over sometime ... once the grps are formed (sem2 to sem8) option 2 (trying to help others realise ) happens ... then .. when there is complete change in locations (join companies) .. again new people .. again shuffling .. again grouping :)) ... (until u shift to another company :)))) ) ...

ha haaaaaaa .. so that is life .. :)

but remember one thing .. one grp of friends from whom you cant escape is FAMILY ... some people still do that .. by seperating .. divorcing etc .. but most cases you cant escape .. option 2 is the only option :DDD ..

enjoi .. have fun ..

Suman.